Key Match-Up: Kenny Cooper vs. Sebastien Le Toux

by Andrew Wheeler on Sep 9, 2011 8:20 AM PDT

The Portland Timbers play the current 9th place Philadelphia Union on Saturday, a team only three points ahead of Portland. A win could put the Timbers above the playoff cut, while a loss would give the boys in green a deep hole to dig themselves out of. It's going to be a huge game for both sides.

So let's take a (sarcastic) look at the star forwards of each team, Kenny Cooper and Sebastien Le Toux. Many analysts would consider both of their 2011 campaigns to be a bit disappointing, when compared to previous years. But both of them have also improved their games somewhat over the past few matches. Cooper has played a role in some recent key goal scoring opportunities, and Le Toux has scored three goals in his last two matches.

We'll look a bit deeper after the jump.

Kenny Cooper

Sebastien Le Toux

Height:

6’3"

Height:

6’1"

Years of MLS experience/Age:

5/26

Years of MLS experience/Age:

3/27

MLS Career Goals:

Best MLS Season:

2008 (18 goals)

Best MLS Season:

2010 (14 goals)

2011 Goals:

(but 4 of them are PKs, so, um, nevermind)

Definition of "Cooper"

Maker of Barrels

English Translation of "Le Toux"

The Cough

1st result when Googling:
"Kenny Cooper looks like"

something out of a Resident
Evil video game

1st result when Googling:
"Sebastien Le Toux looks like"

an MVP candidate

(I think he looks more like Leonard Nimoy)

1st result when Googling:
"Kenny Cooper goes"

deep

1st result when Googling:
"Sebastien Le Toux goes"

hard

First Team in US:

FC Dallas

First Team in US:

Seattle Sounders (USL)

First MLS Team:

FC Dallas

First MLS Team:

Seattle Sounders FC

Number of teams called the Seattle Sounders that Cooper has played for:

Number of teams called the Seattle
Sounders that Le Toux has played for:

Based on that exhaustive analysis, Cooper is the clear winner. And the power of the internet compels me to state that Sebastien Le Toux looks like Leonard Nimoy, and when he wears a goatee he looks like the evil alternate universe Spock from "Mirror Mirror."

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