FanPost

Tournament Round of 16: Who or what do we dislike most in the Timbers universe?

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16 unworthy candidates are left in our Tournament

For background on the nominees and results from round 1 (32 teams): brackets A & B can be found here, brackets C & D can be found here. Vote here for the Round of 16 Polls are now closed on the round of 16.

(the round of 4 survey can be found here)

Your candidates are below:

... and we are down to the Sodden 16 in our playoffs to determine the Copa Mierda: the greatest irritant in the Timbers universe. By and large round one went as expected with favorites Clint Dempsey, Roger Levesque, Don Garber, The 1906 LOLtras, Evil Stevie Lenhart, Starfire Bowling Lanes and Bus Depot, and ECS Trolls running away with their respective contests. A few upsets were scored, with mls.com's self-appointed legend Frank Lampard narrowly edging weekly irritant Simon Borg, Kevin Stott demolishing Gavin Wilkinson, and Caleb Porter's Pressers convincingly suppressing Merritt Paulson's Twitter feed. One upset was narrowly averted with PRO referee Ricardo Salazar emerging by a single vote over Jumbotron/PA fans.

Now, the choices appear to get a little harder.

Group A

(1) Clint Dempsey vs. (5) MLS Transparency

Pretty much a choice between Scylla and Charybdis. Yech. There are no winners here. usa-today-8589992.0.0.jpg Calvin Ball

A devil's alternative: Dempsey vs. MLS Calvinball.

(2) 1906 Ultras vs (3) The Chevron Kit

Here one must choose between a savage group of ugly, thieving, senseless goons, and the nasty feeling in the pit of your stomach every time our boys wear their primary kits onto the pitch.

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The LOLtras really, really don't get it. And then there's our new home kit

Group B

(1) Roger Lavesque vs (5) Ticket Scalpers

One one side you have a man who, prior to Dempsey and perhaps even afterwards, has been the most unrepentant douchebag in soccer. On the other villians who suck dollars from people who don't have them, profiteering on love.

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A good descriptor for Levesque, nothing like paying $80 for $25 ticket so you can get in here

(2) Starfire vs. (3) Vancouver Divers
Two different flavors of pathetic: forced to play on a pitch inferior to middle schools in games that means something because your ultra-rich opponent is that cheap versus a once decent group of cheaters who flop about like a flounder on the dock.

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The only thing worse than the away section at Starfire is the pitch v. Another Whitecap goes to ground

Group C

(1) Don Garber vs. (4) Kevin Stott

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Don Garber: fans are to pay admission, not be heard vs Surprise! Stott called a PK against PTFC.

Not much to say here...blind ambition vs. blind officiating. Choose your destroyer.

(2) Ricardo Salazar vs (6) Frank Lampard
Speaking of blind and incompetent but adding the stormy impact of a malignant force of nature, I give you Roberto Salazar. His performance in the Houston match is just the most recent of his terrible performances. Opposing Salazar is Frank Lampard. Stealing a bit of Brit-prop, he's overpaid, overhyped, and over here. His less than 170 minutes with NYC have hardly been memorable (in any good sense of the word), but still Don Garber Co. have to promote him like the second coming.

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The man who will kill your season vs. a spoiled retiree

Group D

(1) ECS Trolls vs. (4) Steven Lenhart
Seattle fans who are more against Portland than for their own club, these idiots jump on PTFC with witty banter like name calling. Their input is that of a badly raised 4-year old who has broken all his or her toys, but demands more because they deserve better than what they've got. Opposing the trolls is Evil Stevie himself. Amassing an impressive 30 yellow cards and 5 red cards in only 135 matches, one is amazed that the number is so few. Every pro sports league has a poster child for foul play: in the NFL there was Conrad Dobler., the NBA had Bill Laimbeer, the NHL there was Bob Probert. In MLS there is Steven Lenhardt.

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Unwelcome interlopers vs. "The Prince of Goons"

(3) Alan Gordon vs. (7) Caleb Porter’s Postgame Pressers

Closing our rouges gallery, we have a battle between well travelled but hardly well liked Alan Gordon, and Caleb Porter's post game pressers. The second half of Lenny's so-called "Bash-Brothers," Gordo makes up in goonery what he lacks in talent. As Ridgewell learned, the second cheap shot gets a red. The first comes from Alan Gordon. Opposing this cancer of MLS, we have our own coaches post game press conferences. Having bumped into Caleb Porter before, I found him to be a man who passionately and sincerely wants to win; he was also very likeable. But catch a passionate man 20 minutes after getting hosed by Salazar or his team came out flat and bad things can happen. Ask him a question he doesn't like, you get a little bit of midwestern Jose Mourinho unleashed. Then the firestorm begins.

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The professional goon vs. CP's postgame comments

In case you missed it above, vote here for the Round of 16 Polls are now closed! Link to the last 4 villains standing can be found here.

This FanPost was written by a Stumptown Footy community member and does not necessarily reflect the views and opinions of the site or its staff.

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