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The Stumptown Footy Guide to Not Hating the Sounders Today

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I know it's hard, but today you're going to have to hope the guy in green beats the guy in black. (Photo by Ned Dishman/Getty Images)
I know it's hard, but today you're going to have to hope the guy in green beats the guy in black. (Photo by Ned Dishman/Getty Images)
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Tonight at 6pm PT the Seattle Sounders will play DC United, a team which, with a win, would jump back ahead of the Portland Timbers in the wild card standings, knocking our boys back below the playoff cut. This situation puts Timbers fans in an uncomfortable position, one that many of us saw coming but few of us would admit to being prepared for.

Fortunately, we here at Stumptown Footy are here to help. We've prepared a guide for Timbers fans to put aside their hatred for one day only, while they play a team that really needs to lose. So without further ado, we give you: The Top Ten Reasons Not to Hate the Sounders for Just One Day, September 17th, 2011.

10. Marching bands aren't all bad.

9. Drew Carey used to be funny.

8. Fredy Montero was an MLS WORKS Humanitarian of the Month. (He and Jack Jewsbury have that much in common.)

7. Two words: Electron Boy. In all seriousness, his passing yesterday is reason enough on its own to cheer for his Sounders today. Our thoughts are with his family at this difficult time.

6. They're just a lovable band of misfits up there.

5. Apparently they're underdogs in this game. Everybody loves an underdog.

4. People like Xboxes, right?

3. Flounder is low in saturated fat and pretty high in Omega 3 fatty acids.

Um, let's see ... 2 and 1 ... Ahem.

You know what? 8 out of 10 ain't bad.

Now, I know many of you are worried that after not hating the Sounders today you might have trouble expunging that non-hatred tomorrow. So in the event that you feel you have lost that deep unwavering hatred, just remember the magic words:

Roger Levesque