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MLS Playoffs Rootability Ratings: Our Take

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SB Nation Soccer has their rootability rankings and we rootability ratings.

Peter G. Aiken-USA TODAY Sports

With the Timbers having slipped out of the playoffs by a single, stupid point, we can only look on in envy as the MLS playoffs get underway with tomorrow's match between FC Dallas and the Vancouver Whitecaps, both of whom the Timbers beat comprehensively in the last month.

Still, regardless of how you feel about the 'Merican way of doing things, the playoffs are damn exciting. As such, it is traditional for those of us without a rooting interest in the playoff teams to decide who we want to win it all.

SB Nation Soccer has already put out a rootability ranking of their own. It is, from the perspective of a Timbers fan, flawed.

So, who is worth rooting for and who should be checked in the bonfire? Let's take a look at SB Nation's rankings and throw in our own as well.

Note: I couldn't pick who to root for above the others, so instead of re-ranking the playoff teams, I gave them a score out of ten, with 10 being the best to root for and 1 being the worst.

10. Vancouver Whitecaps

Our rootability rating: 0.5/10

Their reasoning: "No Canadian team has ever won an MLS playoff match."

Our Reasoning: The Whitecaps may be the lesser of the Timbers' Cascadian rivalries, but they are still rivals. Plus, they edged the Timbers out of the playoffs. They deserve to be not quite at the bottom of the heap.

9. Sporting Kansas City

Our rootability rating: 1/10

Their reasoning: "It would be cool to see a team win back-to-back MLS Cups" but "They finished the season terribly, don't have anyone so good that they will blow your mind, have no underdog status and aren't even entertaining to watch."

Our Reasoning: All that is hard to argue with, except maybe the part about seeing them win back to back MLS Cups.

8. Real Salt Lake

Our rootability rating: 2/10

Their reasoning: "They have been doing the same thing with, generally, the same guys for years. And while they call it attractive and positive soccer, some might call it monotonous."

Our Reasoning: It is fun watching a team with a quarter of New York's salary play them off the pitch.

7. Columbus Crew

Our rootability rating: 4/10

Their reasoning: "Most importantly, it'd be great to see the Village People crest succeed one last time before it's officially replaced."

Our Reasoning: Wait... what has been going on over in the Eastern Conference? The Crew are good again? Whatever. Frederico Higuain makes them worth watching all by himself.

6. New York Red Bulls

Our rootability rating: 1/10

Their reasoning: "Thierry Henry."

Our Reasoning: Throw money at the league, it doesn't work out, lose interest and go home. It is a joy to watch New York City based sports teams lose.

5. FC Dallas

Our rootability rating: 5/10

Their reasoning: "Oscar Pareja is a magician. He turned the Colorado Rapids into a real, competitive and fun team last season. The Rapids! And now he's doing the same with Dallas, despite having a very young team."

Our Reasoning: Fabian Castillo is fast. Fabian Castillo is fancy. Fabian Castillo makes up for the fact that Blas Perez is intensely aggravating. Plus, a team that actually uses their homegrown players and gets significant contributions from them should be applauded.

4. D.C. United

Our rootability rating: 6/10

Their reasoning: "They made the biggest turnaround from one year to the next in MLS history, giving them underdog cache, but are the top seed in the East, so nobody can call them a fluke."

Our Reasoning: Agreed. They lose one point for Eddie Johnson (the bad one).

3. LA Galaxy

Our rootability rating: 5/10

Their reasoning: "No player has been more important to the survival of MLS than Landon Donovan and, with him retiring after the season, seeing him go out with a record sixth MLS Cup would be incredible."

Our Reasoning: Look, nobody really believes that any of the Eastern Conference teams are going to go to Seattle and win the MLS Cup Final in Centurylink Field, right? So somebody needs to knock them off before that can happen. LA, despite the last two games of the season, are the best chance for that to happen.

2. Seattle Sounders

Our rootability rating: -1/10

Their reasoning: "Blah blah Treble blah blah Clint Dempsey blah blah DeAndre Yedlin blah blah Obafemi Martins blah blah 67,000 fans."

Our reasoning: "**** your treble. **** Clint Dempsey. **** DeAndre Yedlin. **** Obafemi Martins. **** all 67,000 fans."

1. New England Revolution

Our rootability rating: 8/10

Their reasoning: "They play attractive, attacking soccer and are finally rewarding a fan base that, while small, has been amazingly loyal to a club that has been producing terrible results in a terrible stadium for years."

Our Reasoning: Agreed. The Revolution play good soccer and have very few people on their team that Timbers fans have real reason to hate. Go Revolution!