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Portland Timbers at Colorado Rapids: Two Word Reviews

We try to distill the Timbers' loss against Colorado down to two words.

By William Conwell

The seminal rock band of the 1980's, Spinal Tap, once received a two word review for their album "Shark Sandwich". It read:

S*** sandwich.

In that spirit, we have tried to distill down the Portland Timbers' performance against the Colorado Rapids yesterday to its most basic.

Keeping it short and simple, here are our two word match reviews:

  • Ryan: "Languorously impotent."
  • Kelly: "Hot mess."
  • Kevin: "Painfully heartbreaking."
  • Stacey: "Unmitigated crapfest."
  • Will: "Altitude sickness."

Think you can better sum up the game in two words? Share your review in the comments.

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