FanPost

Who or what do we actually dislike the most?

The Table

Playoff Bracket for the Copa Mierda

Here in Portland, we are passionate about our team. And to some degree we are as passionate about those we dislike. Since we don’t have a Copa Verde this year, how about we start an equally valuable tournament (read – utterly worthless), the Copa Mierda? We can award it annually – or at least as annually as the Copa Verde -- to the most ignominious inhabitant of the Timbers universe. Here’s how to play: we vote through a 32 team playoff to win this dubious distinction. If you read enough STF threads, there are certain topics, players, or personalities that continually receive our derision. Let's end the speculation - who or what is the most infamous villain in the Timbers universe?

There are 4 groups of 8. Cast your vote for the biggest losers in our little football universe. Single elimination, most votes received advances towards infamy. Today we look at Groups A and B.

--> Vote HERE for your least favorites! Poll closed for Groups A & B. Group C & D can be found HERE.

Group A

(1) Deuce vs. (8) Pa Moduh Kah

Has there been a sweeter moment in the Timbers / Fishmongers rivalry then Clint Dempsey blowing his top and getting tossed out the USOC match? Dempsey is roundly hated for his arrogance, his demanding MLS bypass allocation order to go to Seattle, his whiny bitchy on-field behavior that is so smug and cynical that some Tmbers faithful can’t even manage to root for the USMNT if he is on the pitch. Simon Borg – we’ll get to him later - tweeted during the ’14 MLS ASG how he could not understand why Portland fans would boo an MLS and US star and captain in Dempsey. Because… We. Hate. Him. Check out the tweet here: Borg on Dempsey

Yes, Simon, that happened. Every time.

His opponent would be a surprise 18 months ago when Pa Modou Kah was a member of the Great Wall of the Gambia. Oh, sure, he was an out of control red card waiting to happen. But he was also ‘great in the locker room’ Pa Modou Kah. Then he was released. Then signed in Vancouver. When you think of how you want a former player to act when in Portland, consider Matt Borchers crying as he professionally destroys his former team’s playoff chances. Then consider ‘no loyalty’ Kah and his multiple studs-up, intentional, two foot dangerous tackles aimed his former teammates. Once cheered, now jeered with ‘get that off the pitch.’

PK on Adi

Stuff like this changed our feelings about PMK

(4) Troy Perkins vs. (5) #Transparency

Another hero to zero story. Cheered, even after he left PDX, Troy Perkins did everything he could do to spray bile on not only PTFC and its front office, but the city of Portland, and the 107IST. Yeah, Perkins, we may have been the only people listening to a 3rd string keeper on a fading soccer team, but we did listen. And man oh man where we laughing as he let goal after goal past him in the Open Cup. Hey Troy, when pressed into service in all competitions, how many did you win?

#Transparency: The Dempsey Rule. Calvin Ball. Smoke filled rooms. Unexpected and odd-ball rule changes that invariably favor Seattle, NY, or LA. After it’s all done, some apologist comes out and explains in Rule 234, Section 5, Subpart x, paragraph 3, there was the ‘golden rule exception.’ Which means whoever has the gold makes the rules. All we ask for is a little transparency. That can’t be hard, can it?

(3) The Chevron vs. (6) Sigi’s Belly

Sigi Schmid questioning his players fitness is always good for a few hundred snide replies on STF. Witness a recent link to a thread on the web asking "how big is Sigi Schmid?" Answer…he ate Tommy Lasorda. Mind you this was in 2003 when Sigi was comparatively svelt. Others questioned if Sigi was on one side of the halfway line, and his gut is on the other, is he offsides? When CP came to Portland, he got advice from Schmid: "get used to losing.’ Porter showed great restraint not replying "something you don’t know much about?"

Our new kits got announced to nearly universal howls of disappointment from the Timbers faithful. Cat vomit on a gas station sign. Confused stepchild of the LA stripe. I’m with stupid arrow, pointing up. Folks didn’t like the new kits much. Maybe they’ve grown on you by now? Or maybe kit sales explain the drop in Timbers OpInc from 2013. chevron

Has this grown on you, yet?

(2) 1906 Ultras vs. (7) Pareja's bad case of sniffles

Supporters group or criminal gang? Maybe a little of both. Last time the Ultras came to Portland in full force, the Portland Police Dep’t got a work out. Beating on others, stealing property, and destroying property is just ‘part of their supporter culture.’ Maybe the only folks who disdain the LOLtras as much as we do are the majority of San Jose fans who want nothing to do with this group of villians.

Oscar Pareja’s last trip to Portland didn’t work out too well, with him on the wrong end of a 3-1 match. If there was any confusion, Caleb Porter helped him by showing him our large ‘scoreboard.’ Dallas has been known to be a bit physical and chippy, and Pareja took exception to Porter’s input to the 4th official. Then came Pareja handing CP a tissue.

the tissue

Classy!

Group B

(1) Roger Levesque vs. (8) Baboucarr Jallow

Levesque. There may be no single person that better personifies Flounderdom than this dross of the Duwamish. Falling over like a tree? Jackass. Not much more to say here. There is a reason why he is the #1 seed in this bracket. There may be no moment more hated. Arrgh.

argh

Unforgettable, and not in the good way

A relative newcomer, Jallow’s officiating in the preseason at Portland was so very bad that that the Army ended up in mid-season from suggesting what physical actions deserved to be reigned upon him. At one point his linesman, signaling for Jallow not to make a call franticly waved his flag, Jallow shrugged him off and made the wrong call. His linesman dropped his flag in disgust. Jallow allowed Kah to go studs up on multiple Timbers, but tossed Ridgewell for dissent. Normally a 4th official, he falls to an 8 seed.If Booboo was let loose in a real match, someone would get killed and he would be much higher up the table.

Jallow

Babou had a bad day at Providence Park

(4) Relying on Hanyer Mosquera et al vs. (5) Ticket Scalpers

Imagine it’s 2012. LA is running at our backline of Hall, Horst, Mosquera, and Purdy. Ouch. This doesn’t end well. Mosquera was really good at set piece defending. And that was about it. Folks who complain about any of the 2015 backline need only consider our history to realize how relatively good we have it now.

Ticket scalpers. Ugh. Despicable parasites who take advantage of our small stadium and passion for soccer to steal the last penny from Portland soccer fans.

(3) Vancouver Divers vs. (6) Groupon

Camillo. Fernandez. Hurtado. Rosales. A strong breeze and these bastards are flopping around on the turf as if they’d been shot. And the sick part, is more often than not they get the call. Most of us kind of like Vanouver, and relate to their fans. And we’re united in our hatred for the other Cascadia team. But the 2014 team were a bunch of creeps, and the ’15 team has added studs-up assault to the formula. The Vancouver Diving Club is a worthy contender. I've been searching for the GIF of Sebastian Fernandez grabbing his face from last year...but that was the moment I learned to dislike the Caps.

Hey, Duwamish is ‘America’s bellweather franchise,’ at least according to themselves. And they witness their pointy-football stadium full of warm bodies as proof. And, most of those who attend are into soccer enough to even clap their hands once in a while. But, things actually heard from their groupon fans include, "when does Russell Wilson come on?" Pathetic.

(2) Starfire vs. (7) Bule and Peasoup-puke Green

Starfire: Hey, there’s nothing like having to play a meaningful match on a pitch you coached 7-8 lacrosse a few weeks earlier. Or having your fans shoved into a chunk of flat open ground between stands that would embarrass a junior high-school. TV broadcast with the back of a fishmonger’s head in the way. Well, if it’s not exciting enough, there’s a rec game on the next field over to watch. This place should be banned from competition.

Starfire’s opponent are the ghastly color’s that adorn the Flounders kits… Bule and Peasoup-puke green. Just before a migraine, normal colors take on an eerie and unnatural glow that is literally nausea inducing. Of course, the Flounders managed to wear precisely these colors. It provides a hell of an advantage; opponents can’t even look at Flounders for more than seconds without feeling the need to empty their stomach. Tough to play.

Bule

I never get tired of this

Coming up next – Groups C, and D featuring:

Group C

(1) @mlsdon vs. (8) Rotation Strategy at Phila

(4) Kevin Stott vs (5) Frank Lampard

(3) Simon Borg vs. (6) CP's postgame interviews

(2) Ricardo Salazar vs (7) Jumbotron Cheerleaders

Group D

(1) ECS Trolls on STF vs (8) SAP play-by-play on Unimas

(4) Evil Stevie vs. (5) No Drifter on tap at Providence Park

(3) Alan Gordon vs. CP's (6) Darlington Nagbe's left foot

(2) Merritt Paulson's twitter account vs. (7) Freddie Montero

In case you missed it up top: Vote HERE for your least favorites! Poll closed for Groups A & B, Group C & D can be found HERE

This FanPost was written by a Stumptown Footy community member and does not necessarily reflect the views and opinions of the site or its staff.

Trending Discussions