Around the Forest: Caleb pretends he's an optimist

From the Wide World of Soccer:

Orlando SC Coach Adrian Heath slapped with a 1 game ban for stepping onto the field. [The Mane Land]

Masato Kudo got LIT UP last night by Chicago Fire keeper Matt Lampson. Yes, that required all caps. [Deadspin]

A majority of Miami-Dade county voters support Beckham's plan for a new stadium in a poll. Also related: most citizens who participate in polls have no idea about the subject matter that they are being asked about. [Miami Herald]

In an interview, MLS Commish Don Garber decided to just sit around and list random facts like "The sky is blue," "Bacon is delicious," and "Liga MX is better than MLS." [CBSSports]

The Guardian basically called John Terry the human embodiment of the trashcan emoji. All 20 MLS teams agree. [Guardian]

Lots of rumors swirling around Kei Kamara being moved. [MLS]
UPDATE: And now he's headed to New England. [MLS]

If you are down and out about the Timbers finishing woes, this will warm the cockles of your heart. [Deadspin]

The LA Galaxy tied the Union 2-2. [LAG Confidential]

Rapids squeak past Sporting KC 1-0. [Burgundy Wave]

Blas Perez lifts the Whitecaps past the Fire.There's a Game of Thrones joke in there somewhere. [86 Forever]

Quakes cruise to a 3-1 victory over the Dynamo. [Center Line Soccer]

Right in Stumptown:

The post-game press conference. [Timbers.com]

Caleb tries to remain optimistic about everything. [Timbers.com]

The U-23 Timbers lost 2-0 last night to California amateur side La Maquina. [US Soccer]

Before the Dallas game, Jamie B put out the SOS looking for Asprilla. [Oregon Live]

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Feel free to discuss these and any other soccer-related stories in the comments below. If there are any links that you think would be of interest to the wider community, let me know and I'll be happy to update the post.