FanPost

Thorns Implement Plan to Release Players w/ Hard-to-Say Last Names

Former thorns players Dagny Brynjarsdottir and Ana-Maria Crnogorcevic were released recently as part of a plan by the Thorns to ensure players’ names are easy to pronounce. "A name like ‘Brynjards’...uh...’dotor’ just doesn’t roll off the tongue" says Sr. VP of Corporate Partnerships, Todd Arrow.

"We prefer names that are also words that the fans are already familiar with, like Salem, Ball, and Heath," notes Head Coach Mark Pastor. "Don’t get me wrong, Crnogro..., uh, Ana-Maria and the other player with the long name were wonderful players and people, but their last names had a lot of letters."

"We want to make sure soccer is accessible to as many people as possible," says Assistant Coach Carly Cobblestone, adding, "I mean, try leaning over to the person next to you at a game and say ‘Brynjarsdottir made a nice pass’, with a mouthful of hotdog!"

Apparently the stadium announcers reportedly stumbled on the names, too, which confused fans as to who the announcers were talking about. The last names also affected the Thorn’s play as well: players claimed they needed extra time to call the names of Brynjarsdottir and Crnogorcevic, leading to poorly timed passes and runs in some cases. "Yeah, I’m really sorry to see them go, but the extra time to say names like Brny..., you know, their names, means a lot in a fast-paced game like soccer," noted the Thorns defender Ellie Woodworker.

Following the purging of players, the Thorns will do away with the use of confusing or misleading soccer terms like "square ball ", "goal kick", and "hat trick".

This FanPost was written by a Stumptown Footy community member and does not necessarily reflect the views and opinions of the site or its staff.

Trending Discussions