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Let's Not Get Ahead of Ourselves, But...

By William Conwell
Steve Dykes-USA TODAY Sports

Before you read this, please take a moment to be sure that you have something wooden nearby.

***

The Portland Timbers are halfway through their Western Conference Finals series against FC Dallas, holding a 3-1 lead going into the second leg in Frisco, Texas next week. The Timbers just have to defeat the team with the best home record of the regular season and they move on to the finals.

Please, knock on wood.

If the Timbers do get by Dallas, they will then take on either the Columbus Crew or the New York Red Bulls in the MLS Final. No matter which team from the Eastern Conference makes it, they will have the advantage in the regular season standings over the Timbers and as such will be the hosts of the final.

The Timbers have already beaten the Crew, who hold a 2-0 lead on New York after the first leg of the Eastern Conference Finals, on the road. The Red Bulls, meanwhile, have been a trickier opponent for the Timbers, but still remain beatable.

The Timbers are just two tough games removed from raising the MLS Cup.

Knock on wood. Seriously.

That would be awesome.

Knock on wood!

It would also be pretty awesome if the team had a bar.

Wait a minute...

Sure, basically every bar in Portland with at least one TV is a Timbers bar, but an actual Timbers bar?

Now, Merritt Paulson's tweet may be from way back in 2013, but let's take a moment to imagine just what this hypothetical bar might look like. Log slices everywhere, scarves for days, and a place for the team to preserve and display some of its history. And maybe some chainsaw-shaped ice sculptures.

Just as important as the inside of the bar, however, is it's name. Here are a few ideas that I've been muling over:

  • The Timbers' Taproom, The Timbers' Tavern, The Timbers' Table, The Post, The Crossbar, Porter's Porters, Bar Lington

And my three favorites:

3. Diegos'

2. Timbar

1. The Nat Borchers' Beard Memorial Pub

What do you think of the possibility of a Timbers pub, let alone the possibility of winning the MLS Cup?

Knock. On. Wood.

And what should it be named? Vote in the poll below and share your ideas in the comments.

One last time, for good measure.

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