I made a top 10 Timbers goals list about 4 years ago but we have seen many more beautiful goals since then. I viewed every single Timbers goals from our inaugural MLS season to present. Only goals from MLS play were considered including the post season and MLS is back tournament. Also, if you're having a bad day, sit back and watch the Timbers score a bunch of goals. It can be very therapeutic. To be clear, these are the goals that I found to be the most beautiful / skillful. These are not the goals you would marry, or kill. These are the goals you'd bang. There are so many more goals that I want to add to this list, but alas there are only room for 25. All right! Let's get started!
#25 Uh-oh Uh-oh Uh-oh Ohhh Diego Valeri is back! Diego Valeri vs MTL 05/09/15
- Diego Valeri in his first game back from a torn ACL curls a beautiful shot around the keeper. After the goal Valeri points to the sidelines and goes and hugs the medical staff that helped him rehabilitate his injury.
#24 Oops! I scored Diego Valeri vs SEA 07/17/16
- Diego Valeri sends out a cross that turns into a shot (Shross) and turns out to be a beautiful goal. Not really sure why I like this goal so much. Maybe its because its against Shittle. Maybe because it was an accident. Still, a beautiful, accidental goal against the flounders deserves to be on this list.
#23 Bill Torments Toronto Bill Tuiloma vs TOR 04/27/19
- Bill with an absolute banger of a volley. This is the only goal from a CB to make this list.
#22 Nagbe sheds two tackles and scores a touchdown! Darlington Nagbe vs VAN 04/22/17
- Nagbe dribbles around two defenders, takes a shove from the massive and imposing figure of Kendall Waston and fires a laser beam of the crossbar and in.
#21 Placement over Power Darlington Nagbe vs COL 08/23/17
- Nagbe has a little time and space, so he pulls out the sand wedge and chips it in from the fairway.
#20 El Gato Pounces! Gaston Fernandez vs DC 05/03/14
- In the first minute of play Gaston pops the ball up in the air to avoid the oncoming Bill Hamid and with the ball over his head and his back to goal, scores a really nice goal. A sliding defender can't keep the ball out of the net.
#19 Something from nothing. Darlington Nagbe vs DAL 06/15/13
- There is nobody in the league who is better at working in tight spaces than Nagbe? Here is a perfect example of that.
#18 From way downtown. Diego Valeri vs COL 07/18/14
- Absolute rocket to the upper 90.
#17 Jewsbury epic volley. Jack Jewsbury vs DAL 08/05/12
- Captain Jack pulls it out of the air and sends it through the keepers hands.
#16 Blanco dribbles DC Sebastian Blanco vs DC 10/15/17
- I love how many DC defenders end up on their asses for this goal.
#15 Valeri with a heat seeking missile! Diego Valeri vs LAG 08/06/17
- Valeri takes his time, locks in the coordinates and fires a missile.
#14 Valeri nutmegs the entire galaxy! Diego Valeri vs LAG 07/27/19
- I like how the color analyst has a quick little orgasm when Valeri nutmegs the defender.
#13 Polo does a dance. Andy Polo vs LAG 10/28/20
- Now that Marco Farfan has been traded we will never get the Andy Polo goal assisted by Marco Farfan, thus making a Marco Polo goal. But, at least we will always have this stunning volley.
#12 Brian Fernandez bicycle kicks LAFC Brian Fernandez vs LAFC 06/01/19
- The sad story of Brian Fernandez. I shutter to think how many times he could have appeared on this list if things had been different and he continued his Timbers career.
#11 Powell cuts up the Loons defense. Alvas Powell vs MIN 04/14/18
- Alvas dribbles from midfield and blasts it by the keeper near post. Beautiful goal. I like how the force of the shot lifts the goal frame slightly.
#10 A new star is being born. Nagbe vs RSL 03/31/12
- Do you guys remember the combo of John Strong and Robbie Earle. Man were we spoiled. I like the announcers we have now but Strong/Earle set the bar really high. So does Darlington Nagbe.
#9 Valeri chips Chivas Diego Valeri vs CHV 10/26/13
- It's like they were daring him to shoot. That was a mistake. Pure feather touch.
# 8 Who is that guy with a perfect head of hair? Diego Valeri vs RBNY 03/03/13
- 13 minutes into his Timbers career, Diego Valeri gives us an absolute stunning goal.
# 7 Jewsbury wins the Cascadia Cup. Jack Jewsbury vs VAN 10/21/12
- Not much went right for the Timbers in 2012. Yet, we still had a chance to take home the Cascadia Cup with a game late in the year at our house in the middle of BC. Not only did we get the cup, we got an all time classic goal courtesy of Captain Jack.
#6 Valeri's corkscrew volley. Diego Valeri vs NER 04/02/17
- For whatever reason highlights to this game are hard to find. Luckily the timbers website has an article with several looks. This remains my all time favorite Valeri goal.
#5 Blanco's unreal long distance blast. Sebastian Blanco vs SKC 11/29/18
- I watched this goal from the playoff watch party at the crystal ballroom. The whole place was going nuts and the spring loaded floor was moving with excitement. I was shell shocked for several minutes. Everybody had the same reaction as Diego Valeri. Could not believe it. In the western conference finals? Are you serious?
#4 Asprilla's physics defying blast. Dairon Asprilla vs DAL 11/22/15
- There is no goal in Timbers history that has this much bend. David Beckham would be jealous. I love how Jessie Gonzalez starts out to his left and then just looks to his right with a dejected look on his face. One of the goals that helped build Asprilla's playoff reputation. That's now two goals in my top 5 that occurred in the western conference finals. Is that lucky or clutch? Amazing!
#3 Armenteros does 'em dirty. Samuel Armenteros vs COL 05/26/18
- I was camping with some homies celebrating a birthday. We only had the radio broadcast for this game and I remember the announcers gushing about how awesome this goal was. When I got home from my trip and checked out the highlights I was not disappointed.
#2 Adi Juggles! Will Johnson vs VAN 06/01/14
- Of all the goals on this list, this is the only one where I was in attendance. Maybe that's why it holds a special place in my heart. It is my favorite assist in Timbers history. Valeri from midfield, Adi juggles and Johnson blasts it past the keeper. Beautiful goal!
#1 Hey everyone, I'm Darlington Nagbe. Nice to meet you! Darlington Nagbe vs SKC 07/02/11
- Nagbe's first career goal in MLS. Voted the 2011 MLS goal of the year. I started watching all Timbers goals in chronological order starting with the 2011 season. Of the 49 goals that I jotted down that I felt had potential to make my top 25 list, this is the first one I wrote down and I feel it's the best. IMO this is the most beautiful goal in Timbers history.
I find it interesting that Nagbe and Valeri make up 13 of the 25 goals on my list. Also, Adi is the second leading scorer in Timbers history (54), yet not a single one of his goals was even nominated for my list. Some players just score prettier goals than others I suppose.
Here's to the 2021 Timbers season. Cheers! Let's hope there are some memorable goals this year that will end up on lists like this one.
Well that's my ranking. What are your guys thoughts? Are any of these too high or too low? Is there a goal that should be on the rankings that is not? What's your list look like?